I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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