I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get the cat blown out
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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