dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It was like getting head from an anaconda
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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