In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
