im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
