Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
