East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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