Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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