She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
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he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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