FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
