mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
