You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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