Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
