Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
