i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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