I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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