Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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