i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
