I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
