just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
