I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
