I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
