i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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