my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
