Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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