She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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