wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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