He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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