she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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