Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My cat gives me a boner
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
