OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I can text with my tongue
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
