You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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