so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
