I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Are we still banned from the library?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
