And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
