Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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