lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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