So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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