whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
