ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
