i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
