I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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