is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
