I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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