He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
