Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
