One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
