She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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