Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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