Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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