No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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