so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
