Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
