Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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