Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
