Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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