Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
