Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
