wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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