If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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