Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
