just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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