the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
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They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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