now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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