Is it normal to miss your booty call?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
