problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
