I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
