Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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