I want to have your abortion
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize